Mea Culpa

Sometimes, no matter what you do to plan something out, it just doesn’t work. That’s what happened to me on Saturday near Eagle Pass, TX. Whenever I plan something I allow for complications to build up and see if there is a pathway through to the goal. There have been times when everything lines up and it all goes smoothly. Other times, every complication and obstacle arises to prevent the execution of the plan.

From all descriptions of the rally at Eagle Pass, or actually north of there, it was going to be well-controlled and they had been advised that there were going to be trouble-makers and knew how to identify them. Plus, this was Texas, not Washington D.C., so infiltrators and trouble-makers would not be given the cover they are elsewhere. The organizers and attendees would have favorable judges and juries to hear their cases should anything go amiss. That being the case, I had no concerns for the organization of the rally, where it was, or what it would accomplish, which was a mere demonstration that more people care about the border than any other single thing in current politics.

The rally itself raised no issues for me, except that it seemed a little pointless. Nonetheless, I live in Texas and border security is a big issue, but I did not fool myself into believing that this rally would accomplish anything. The convoy itself raised awareness and demonstrated how utterly anti-American politicians and communists are. Part of my understanding of it came from the previous convoy, in 2022, that I participated in from beginning to end. I didn’t have the funds to do that this time, so I thought I would just attend the rally and get some good footage of the goings on.

If nothing else, the real point I wanted to make by being there was that this was no “buffalo jump” scenario, that there was no danger in it simply because it had a conservative bent to it.

As the plan started to come apart and grew more and more expensive to undertake, I had to reconcile all of that with the value of the thing to be obtained and it slowly made less and less sense. Some of this is due to my unorthodox methods, which are generally to take off in the direction of my goal and deal with issues as they arise. That’s not the best way to go about it, it seems, because I was frustrated at every turn this time around.

Eventually, I just had to stop and think it through, comparing what I would accomplish and what it would ultimately cost. Even having finally gotten down to the area of the rally, I wasn’t going to make it in time to do anything significant other than record the aftermath. It suddenly seemed all so pointless and even ridiculous knowing that I wouldn’t be there for the rally itself. So, I cut my losses and started the long trip back.

Fortunately, most of my endeavors turn out just the opposite. I slide in, doing things my own way and coming out with something valuable. The worst part is, it feels like failure. I mean one has to recognize what success would be and admittedly, there was going to be little of that no matter how it worked out. This time, though, having struggled through all of the issues, I left empty-handed. It’s a disappointment and I chided myself all the way back with what I could have done better, but all of that would have cost a lot more, more than I had to spend.

It’s on me, I blew it.

Visit us at twelveround.com for contemporary novels of freedom Rebel and Rogue (links to electronic versions in the description) Literary Westerns (like those done by Cormac McCarthy and Larry McMurtry) Shadow Soldier, Home to Texas and Deputized. Also, the film Lies of Omission can be purchased as a DVD or a there’s a link to a free version on Tubi TV.