Putting the "toxic" in Toxic Masculinity
You're right, T.L, we will most definitely need masculinity soon, in whatever form it may take. I feel compelled to share a quote, one I've always felt played a significant role in my perspective of what it means to be a man. It also touches on the many aspects and/or virtues you have written about.
“Is not ours an age of mis-lived lives, of un-manned men? Why?
Because Jesus Christ has disappeared. Wherever the people are true Christians, there are men to be found in large numbers, but everywhere and always, if Christianity wilts, the men wilt. Look closely, they are no longer men but shadows of men. Thus what do you hear on all sides today? The world is dwindling away, for lack of men; the nations are perishing for scarcity of men, for the rareness of men. I do believe: there are no men where there is no character; there is no character where there are no principles, doctrines, stands taken; there are no stands taken, no doctrines, no principles, where there is no religious faith and consequently no religion of society.
Do what you will: only from God you will get men.”
~ Cardinal Louis-Édouard-François-Desiré Pie ~ Christmas Homily (1871)
Masculinity was more important when there were fewer people, and less government oversight -- and protection. Now that we have grown the population enough that people are physically unable to be left alone, the weaker members sought help from government, and those in power were glad to oblige. Seatbelt laws were one of many insults against masculinity, driven by the economics of government caretaking. They're just reminders that we have subordinated masculinity and self reliance to government maternalism.
That maternalism is losing its control, despite desperate attempts to retain it, and masculine traits will become much more important very soon. Those who have forgotten will have a rough time.
We can't live in the past, but we must remember it.
I too, tend toward being a very rebellious type. There was also a considerable amount of 'groupthink' when I was in school, and I was outside of it as well. Mostly, that was my idea, since I refused to fall in line with their thinking - simply because I didn't agree, and they could never figure that attitude out. That was their loss, not mine. It seems that, because of my attitude(s), the indoctrination, propaganda, and BS just kinda washed over me and didn't even have a chance to take hold. I'm very thankful for that now. It seems that I was a rebel, and didn't even know it! I've always been one to "treat others as I'd want to be treated" - without actually realizing that was The Golden Rule in action until much later. It's served me well, indeed.
A very good post here, T.L. Unfortunately, I fear (because of the many things this means) that you're all too correct that true masculinity in large amounts will be needed again - and soon. I pray that we're up to the task(s) that will become all too common - and necessary. Once again, I can find nothing in this post to disagree with - and that's a bit scary for many reasons.
I don't recall seeing that quote by Marty before. What could possibly be added to the good Cardinals quote to improve it? Nothing whatsoever, IMHO. Thanks Marty for posting it!!
Y'all take care (and keep your powder dry!),
Toxic masculinity does not exist.
Masculinity is suffering greatly starting in school where boys are very discriminated
against to the point where they are diagnosed and given medication to "calm them
My buddy and I decided to experiment by giving the boys dolls and the girls
trucks etc. The experiment failed and we were vindicated. The boys smashed the dolls
(a male doll, not a Barbie) against the wall and the girls found a tea towel to crumple
up and cradle in the crook of their arm to cuddle and rock like a baby. What does this
tell you? Boys were taking some object and and using it as a vehicle saying "vroom-vroom"
and the girls were feeding and rocking their tea towel baby. The kids were 18 mos. to
to 2 years old but found their natural roles. Interesting no?
Boys need to run and play and play rough at that. Girls stand around and chat and gossip
and try to be feminine and dress up a bit. At home the girls learned to sew and cook and
helped keep the house in order. Boys stayed outside until street lights came home then hustled
home to wash up and eat. Young women looked forward to graduating high school and
getting their engagement ring or taking some courses and entering the work world or if
the family had dough they went to college. Same with the boys, many had developed
great skills rebuilding a $100. old car and bringing up to driving readiness. And so on.
Now? Everything is upside down. Women are dominant in college, and further do not want to
be married and "subservient" to a husband. They do not want to stay home and raise a family,
make due with one car, and support the man in their home. Women may think themselves
equal or even superior to men. The divorce rate proves that these behaviors don't work,
and then a man gets stuck paying for a life he doesn't participate in, living hard and barely making
it. Mission accomplished/the "family" concept is ruined and has imploded. We are going to
have to "reset" family life but I don't know if it is even possible. I weep for all the losses.
Thanks TL for Rebel and Rogue and sharing the value of men as well as the value of women
in our short lives. We long for change...for the better.